Our work bathroom has four stalls in it and because women far outnumber the men in my company, it tends to get crowded and then in the middle of the day we're waiting in line to go pee as if at an amusement park. We're not allowed to use the bathroom in the adjoining building (where we go for lunch anyway!) because they actually put out a memo that said "Too much stinky happen in there, please stop using our bathroom." Seriously.

The other day I was going pee and all four stalls were occupied. Nobody was talking. It's serious business going to the bathroom, you know. But when it's obvious that there are three other women in there with you, how can you not talk to break up the silence? I hate that silence. I call it the pee code of silence, or in short "pee silence." And the thing is, we're all listening and trying not to at the same time. Personally, listening to other people pee grosses me out. I turn my hearing aids off.

But one time I unfortunately did not turn them off and heard horrible sounds coming from two stalls over. It was myself and another woman in the bathroom. She came in after me and was at least polite enough to not go into the stall immediately next to me.(THANK GAWD!) I know everybody has problems and the like with their bowels, but when you're in a fairly public bathroom and know there's another woman in there listening, you'd think you wouldn't make such a racket!? Or at least disguise it by multiple toilet-flushing? (even though we know about the multiple toilet-flushing business)

Anyway, she was farting and out plops her shit like it was a tree trunk falling in a lake...and more farts. REALLY loud. Like, if deaf me thought they were loud just imagine how loud they were! Anyway, I finished, flushed and went to wash my hands and she comes out! Um, if I had just gone through birthing a shit log like that I wouldn't have come out of the stall until I knew there was nobody there. You know, for anonymity's sake. But here she comes sauntering out of the stall like she owned the world, or at least that toilet anyway. Yeah, she marked her territory alright. And she just sort of does a little hair flip to fix her hair and walks out. AND WALKS OUT! No washing of the hands! GUH! Dis-GUST-ing.

On a more pleasant note: I leave this Thursday afternoon for a week's vacation and family wedding in Scotland. I'm so excited. I haven't seen my family in eight years. I come back the following Thursday (Aug.26) and on the 28th I have my Norah Jones concert. The perfect ending for my vacation. I love it.